He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
