dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
