i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
