My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
