her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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