At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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