Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
