I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
