Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
