But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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