i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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