Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
