So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize