He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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