exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
