I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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