If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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