Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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