You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
