Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
