I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Houston, we have a blender
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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