how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
