Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
