Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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