South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
