actually, I'm a sock model
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize