You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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