you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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