Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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