Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
