I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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