i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize