No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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