so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
