Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
