Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.

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(260): View more from Indiana

He went soft

(631): View more from New York

Wait. During?

(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

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(970): View more from Colorado

you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

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(512): View more from Texas

You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕

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(208): View more from Idaho

It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.

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