I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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