It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
