So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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