I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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