fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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