Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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