His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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