he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize