Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
