what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
