I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
