their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...