Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
