I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
