so that wasnt chicken after all
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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