My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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