FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
