Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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