Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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