i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
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